Today marks Day 90 of Project Danger. I am thankful to have met David Dang. Because of him I have undergone a transformation beyond physical attributes. He has shown me the symbiotic relationship of Mind, Body and Spirit. (Happy Birthday, by the way!)
Every Wednesday I posted my progress as I lost weight at an average of 2 pounds per week. It was so encouraging when people read it and left comments or even simply clicked, "LIKE.' Several weeks ago, I stopped. Although the words of affirmation fueled my passion for success, it also made me realize I was doing things for the wrong reasons.
After re-evaluating my goals I realized that I really didn't care about losing weight; instead I just wanted to be happy. Project Danger occurred during a turbulent time in my life that I was struggling with career challenges, ailing family members, tough financial decisions and death. When I heard words like, "Good Job," or "You can do it!" it made me feel like someone was watching; that somebody cared. It felt good. I like feeling good.
But as many self-help books will tell you, "You must always make sure that it is your true inner passion that is driving you forward in life. EXTERNALLY DRIVEN PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS CRASH AND BURN." - Enough Dammit, Karen Salmansohn.
I crashed. I burned.
The words of affirmation sooned turned to silence and eyes began to roll. Many became tired of listening to my stories of success. The people I looked to for encouragement soon spoke words of doubt or indifference. Was my delivery bad? Was I being too arrogant and cocky? Have they all heard the same stuff before? I didn't feel good.
When I realized that no one cared (among other reasons) I went through a phase of self-sabotage. Alcohol found a way back into my life as well as fast-food and carb-heavy foods. I stopped going to the gym. I stopped going to Kazaxe. I stopped caring. The progress reversed.
Luckily I replaced the time with the gym with coffee sessions with David Dang and my girlfriend, Doris Yi. Minds of intellect coming together to TELL IT LIKE IT IS. Unscripted, unrehearsed, unFILTERED. True friends will tell you stuff to your FACE; even if it hurts. And trust me, it HURT.
I realized that it shouldn't (and doesn't) matter what other people think about me. I need to do this for myself. Ironically, I made a Bootcamp commercial that stressed the notion of "I'm doing this for ME." You can view it on www.YouTube.com/KZXVideo. On that video Sanjeet Ram says, "The world has so much to offer... I just want to have enough energy to experience it all."
I was ready to call it quits today. But now I realize that I must shift my MIND using POSITIVE VIBES. I must embrace my SPIRIT within and do this for MYSELF. Once my MIND and my SPIRIT come together, my BODY will transform automatically. No more alcohol. No more food abuse. No more seeking external affirmation. Back to the gym and Kazaxe I go. I will reach my goals before the New Year.
I'm doing this for me.
